Art of Convincing Others




                                                                By Even Pagan

At a bus stop, two men were having some discussion, a while later it turns into an argument and finally ends up in a fight. Reminiscent of your school days? The stronger boys would bully and beat up small boys who in turn would complain to their teachers. After receiving warning from their teacher their response to the smaller one would be “ I will see you after School”.

I see boys frequently having brawl on the pavement. When I think about it a little more I realise that all the time we are trying to force our point of view on others, insisting that we are right and others perception, their behaviour are wrong.

When we interact with all kinds of people, we need to sometimes convince others about our viewpoint. In order to be listened carefully we must keep in mind the following.

  1. Get the facts right- When you have the facts you can convince yourself first and thus it will be easy to convince others. In a discussion, few things are more irritating than not having the facts and resorting to guess work.
  2. Be confident- If you are sure and confident about your facts, avoid pushing it to others rather be assertive and firm in your verbal & non-verbal gestures
  3. Avoid Arguments- In an argument nobody would like to give up , because there is a feeling of defeat. Arguments usually end up in fights, violence, at least verbal if not always physical. If views differ, first agree with other person’s right to express his or her views and then express your own. Try the “yes…but” technique as follows.: “ YES, you have a point in what you say (pause a little) BUT my view is….” . If others still do not see your opinion objectively remember that it is better to lose an argument and win a friend, rather than win an argument and lose a friend.
  4. LISTEN- Nobody has the monopoly of truth. We express the views which are right according to us, so other people may feel that their opinions are right unless they can be convinced otherwise. Listening does not indicate that you agree, it only means that you are extending a courtesy to the speaker. Once you have listened you are in a better position to think and express your views.
  5. Build a personal reputation- The strength of our opinions to a great extent lies in our credibility. To have credibility we need to build a reputation through discipline. If you are disciplined in your work and in your behaviour others will take you seriously. Even if they do not agree with what you say they will still respect your opinion.
  6. Be open to Change- The world around us is changing rapidly because new and imaginative ideas are being generated every day in every filed. Learn to adapt to change.
  7. Keep trying- We seem to cultivate a tendency of giving up all the efforts after a few tries. In spite of many odd that we face, patience and perseverance has always been rewarded in the long run.

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